Grief Brain
Hello my community,
Have you heard of the term grief brain? Well if you haven't I am here to tell you it's a VERY real thing. There are a lot of scientific studies out there that will tell you what happens to a grieving brain and the chemical response that takes place when it's triggered, but luckily for you, science is not my forte and my brain is a big emotional second heart, so you will be spared of a science lesson on the brain. Grief brain is really fucking annoying because you are filled to the brim with complex emotions of loss while simultaneously experiencing physical symptoms like brain fog and fatigue. The hard thing about it is that it comes up whenever it wants, especially if you experience more loss and it doesn't have to be a big loss it can be a small loss like your plant dying or your fav discontinued candle burning out. If there is a trigger of ANY type of loss to your already grieving brain, your brain will be like "Nope, we can't DO today. Sorry if you had planned on being productive, but like, this is too much and I'm going to stop functioning" and you're left with trying to be a person in the world with a semi-functioning brain. The reason I am bringing all of this wonderful fun grieving brain stuff up is that this is what's going on with my brain right now. As I sit here writing this I am struggling to find the "right" word, the "right" message and the connection I so badly want to make with all of you. There are days that expressing myself comes so naturally, but then there are days like this that I LITERALLY have to fight my brain to work. It's exhausting and can be super stressful. We live in a world that puts value on productivity. If grief has taught me anything it's that, that value system is BULLSHIT. How can we expect to heal, grieve and love ourselves if our value is rooted in what we can produce? Like, I am sorry, but being productive consistently, especially in grief, is just not an option and DEFINITELY not a fast track to authentic living. I was so consumed with trying to "push" through this brain fog and produce something that connected all of us in this space, but I decided to be honest instead (with myself and you). Today I am feeling a lot, but the words aren't coming easily. I am standing side by side with you figuring out how to love myself in the truest way I can in a space of loss and grief. If anything I hope this letter gives you the permission you may need to accept that you are always valuable and immensely important no matter what you can or cannot produce. Your value is unwavering and no amount of grief brain will take that from you.
I love you all and many thanks for always accepting me where I am.
Love,
Ingrid (& my grief brain)
